It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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