i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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