Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
