..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize