We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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