You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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