You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
