i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
