I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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