You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
