Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
