You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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