Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
