and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
