You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
