And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
