When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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