Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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