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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize