Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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