So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
