You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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