just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like a drive thru vagina
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
