My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
