Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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