As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
