Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
