is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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