She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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