if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
