I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
