Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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