the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
