Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
