I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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