1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
