oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I have aggressive nipples.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize