It's like a parade of train wrecks.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize