I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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