Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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