he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
