What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
