We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
