If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
