He felt like a one man threesome
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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