If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
