My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A+ Viking dick
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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