tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
