My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
