I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
