Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
