I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Im part way to drunk.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
