I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Semen is not good for contacts.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
