I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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