Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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