i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
