Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize