There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize