The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
