pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
