I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
