This girl is more easily done than said...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
