So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
