what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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