the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
