I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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