every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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