i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
